I'm usually anti-shopping but I got
really excited about prepping for this wedding. To hell with the
bland white fitted shirt and tie! I went with a rather flashy purple
with a stripped purple tie. I matched it with a pair of checkered
black skater shoes (the only shoes that will fit with my ankle brace)
and a matching belt. Add contacts, a few accessories, plus my cane.
By the time I was done I thought I looked rather dapper if I do say
so myself. Not overly gay, I was just gay enough to set myself apart
from the crowd.
Oh so fancy!
I got on the dance floor at the
reception and showed off my crippled white man dance. Since I come
from a large family of people who can't dance I blended right in,
oddly enough. Each of my family members has one move that they use
over and over. My uncle's involves keeping his hands limp, waving
them from side to side and swaying his hips to the beat. My brother
pulled out the dice throw. I used my leg like a third leg and danced
to the one Rihanna song they play as well as a few pop tunes when
they weren't playing Bruce Springsteen (the DJ catered to every age
group).
I'm out to my extended family but they
try and act like they don't notice. And for the most part they don't
really care. Even the most
conservative out my already conservative religious just try and act
as though they don't know or don't care. The only one to mention the
fact that I recently came out of the closet the entire weekend was my
uncle who threw it into a joke. He confronts everything upfront with
an off-color joke then asks you how you're doing. He even asked the
boy I was with last time I saw my uncle, my now ex-boyfriend. I prefer this method
to beating around the bush endlessly.
The
only benefit that being out to the clan is that with me the majority
of my family will skip the probing questions on my love life. I don't
have to explain that no
I don't have a girlfriend and I'm not
in the market. +1 evasion skills! All I had to do was make them
uncomfortable with my sexual orientation.
+1 evasion skills
I
love coming to visit the greater clan (31 first cousins, just for
reference) but they give my life a little perspective, especially seeing many
relatives my age falling into nuclear families. I'm from a
Catholic family so lots of babies are everywhere. The pressure is
building to go get married and have lots of kids. It is nice to be in
the NONE OF THE ABOVE category. I think I want kids down the line but
they don't just happen for a gay couple.
They take work and planning. As an ex of mine once said “Gay men
can't get each other pregnant but that doesn't mean we won't keep
trying!”
Having a gimp leg has diverted some of the negative energy I'm sure
is brewing. They don't know how to deal with me as a gay man so they
focus on my improved balance and walking skills. This is one place
where playing the cripple card has it's benefits. Play it where you
can I guess.
I guess my point is that though I had fun at my cousin's wedding it
reminded me that I'm outside that slice of American life, because of
a disability or sexuality. At least it was interesting to see the
heterosexual in their natural habitat.
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